Not Volkswagens

Finally, something worth writing about. I wasn’t going to waste anytime on them, but I couldn’t resist.

I had left the Jeep windows open (nothing to steal inside and once a thief saw the odometer reading over 320,000 miles, he wouldn’t steal the Jeep either) when I stopped at Publix for a quart of milk and a loaf of bread. Not really.

I must have been distracted by the Hispanic man who thought I was going to run over him or maybe it was the young guy wearing shorts and work boots while sitting on the curb in the handicap zone smoking a cigarette. Either reason, I didn’t notice. But I wasn’t distracted when I came out of the store with my bananas apples, milk and cream.

It was hard not to notice them. They were definitely back, but I would swear they only appear in the spring to splatter the front grille of cars from Daytona to Tarpon with their bodies.

Love Bugs, flying insects consisting of wings and sex organs. They are seen only when copulating. And they fly when they copulate landing indiscriminately on your head, your arms, your pants…

I carried six couples into the Jeep as I frantically jammed the key into the ignition to roll up the power windows. They were on the inside of the windshield, the front seat, the back seat and I didn’t look, but I bet they were in the back cargo area. I dared not yell in frustration for fear one would be sucked down the esophagus.

Feeling itchy? Yeah, me too.