Job Interview

“We’ve got rocket scientists who work the first three weeks and figure they have made enough money to last them for a while.”

“It is only ten dollars an hour?”

“Yeah, like I said rocket scientists. Once they spend all their money in two days they'll come back, but by then... we don’t want them. They can go work for McDonald’s for all I care.”

At first I thought maybe I fell into the rocket scientist group. I was sure he was referring to my MBA from Michigan. Why would I be contented with a $10.00 job? At least I would have asked that if I was in his shoes.

Captain Campbell wasn’t the big burly security captain I expected. He had that warm wholesome fatherly face you’d see in a commercial for middle-aged men touting the benefits of Viagra. He had given his attendance speech before. Heck, I’d given it many times to hourly employees, except usually during a new hire orientation, not an interview at least not until I had sized the person up, asked him a few questions about previous employment. None of that happened.

I was ready to explain my employment gap. “Let’s see. In 2005, I sailed across the ocean and wrote a book, The Last Voyage of the Cosmic Muffin. Maybe you've read it?"

"Not a reader."

"Well yes. Anyway. That led to publishing and marketing the book in 2006. In 2007, I started writing a novel and this year, I’ve done absolutely nothing on the book, so that is why I’m here applying for a security job at The Track for six weeks.”

Except he didn’t ask me that either. Instead he asked, “Ever work security before," while carefully printing my name on the tab of a manila folder?

“No, sir.”

“Well then, we'll sign you up for training on July 19. 9-5, bring something to eat. Can you work the Open House on July 20?”

“Kind of get my feet wet?” I asked.

“Sure, something like that.”

Yeah, and if he ever reads this blog I'll be fired before I start.