Scooter er... Motorcyle Registration

A year ago on the same day I witnessed a horrible and deadly motorcycle accident outside my condo, I bought a Honda Metropolitan scooter. The accident punctuated my nervousness on my ride home with no more instruction than how to turn it on and off and get the kick stand up and down. With a whopping 49cc engine that produces lightening fast speed of 35 mph going all out on the flat I can kill myself on it, but statistic show it is more likely someone else will kill me. Like my mother would say you can drown in a teacup of water. That never prevented me from bathing.

To assure I purchased a worthy ride, I took my new-to-me-scooter to the local Honda dealer, Kiser Motorcycles. A good once over and a couple of electrical fixes, (brake and head light bulbs) and they slapped an inspection sticker on the back. For five dollars I registered it with the state, as required for such a vehicle that is regularly passed by those training for Ironman’s bike leg.

Now with my inspection sticker about to expire, I took the scooter to the Honda dealer. There I was told I couldn’t pass inspection because I had not licensed the vehicle and carried no insurance. I leave town for six months and return to a whole new set of rules. Oddly no one can tell me exactly when it happened. The vague response has been sometime last year. (duh!) My scooter apparently grew in might and power during my absence and is now classified as a motorcycle. It doesn’t look like one. It doesn’t ride like one, but it cost like one.

In order to get insurance I had to get a motorcycle endorsement. Oh brother. Thank God I have a Hawaii driver’s license; otherwise, I would have to return to my home state to get the endorsement. After paying $9.00 for an inspection I couldn’t pass, I headed down to the DVM. It was closed because it was Friday and a scheduled furlough day. State budget cuts and all.

I returned on Monday and stood in the long line of those needing to register their cars, get new plates and transfer titles. When it was my turn I stepped forward and told the clerk I needed to get a plate for my scooter. "You mean motorcycle," she informed me. She proceeded to process the new Certificate of Registration. I had $38 in my pocket and assumed that would be a sufficient amount. After much number crunching and referral to several manuals, she said pushed her glasses up on her nose and said, "$56.86." I almost blurted out, “For a scooter?” Instead I had to embarrassingly admit I was short on funds. She let me run off to the bank and return directly to her window without waiting in line. (Okay, that was the good part.)

Next stop was Ace Hardware to get a pair of nuts and bolts to secure my $56.86 plate to the "motorcycle". $2.43. I got those that require a wrench, since me and two other guys are the only people on the island in compliance. I don’t want anyone stealing this piece of tin.

I ran around town trying to find a Motorcycle manual so I could study the rules of the road and other necessary information I needed to know to pass the written test. After I passed the test I could get a temporary learner's permit to ride a "motorcycle" I have had for a year. I went to Hawaii’s need-anything-get-it-at-Long’s drug store, but they didn’t have it. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I even went to Border’s. There a young girl gave me the web address for the manual. The URL was bigger than my "motorcycle".

I had no ink in my printer so I made a stop at Office Max to get a new cartridge. A $17.00 pop to my plastic. With manual in hand and a yellow highlighter, I went through it until I was blind with boredom. It was all about motorcycles! Shifting and swerving and braking and passengers and drinking….None of the stuff that applied to me and my "motorcycle". Nevertheless, I absorbed the information just long enough to regurgitate it for the 25 question test. I aced it, which is far more than I could say I scored when I got my Hawaii driver's license. This cost me $11.00. I was issued a temporary license good for one year. I got to say, this is my second license issued by the state and both photos are great, making me look far younger than I am.

I contacted the insurance company I use to cover my condo, but since I don’t have a car, they would not insure me. My choice was the gecko or that high-pitched voiced lady in the white apron. I went with Progressive only because I was on their website last. Either way, the choices were 100 bucks.

Now I must return to the Honda dealer to pass my inspection. Then the road test conducted behind the community pool. However, the DVM is moving to the new civic center this month so they are not scheduling any more exams until after the move.

Total unexpected damage is $198.29 and a lot of running around on the “illegal” scooter. To add to the financial woes of my transportation issues, my bike’s front wheel needed to be replaced. The spokes were breaking under the stress of rust. I also need a new pair of Tevas.