This morning, a friend emailed that his father passed away on December 8. He lost his mother fifteen months earlier, just three days before my mom died. He shared his father’s eulogy which brought tears to my heart.
Since Mom died, two close friends have lost their mothers. Each time my heart tore open a little more, yet in a way, it healed a bit more too. There has been a closer identification with those who have experienced this loss. While I have known others to lose their mothers before I lost my own, I have only been able to acknowledge their loss, never capable of comprehending the emptiness.
Now I truly identify with the grief that seeps into the soul. It never leaves. It isn’t debilitating, but it can be a heavy load that keeps each future second in perspective.
In some odd way, I created my own private club, comprised of those who lost their mothers since I lost mine. Maybe I belong to the clubs of those who lost their mothers before me, gaining membership after I lost Mom.
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- Valerie Perez
- Born and raised near Saratoga Springs, New York, Valerie Perez first joined the US Army and spent three years in Alaska as a photo lab technician. She earned her undergraduate degree in business from Georgia State University in Atlanta and an MBA from the University of Michigan and was a managing partner with Design Management Alliance until she got a bug up her butt and decided to be a writer. Good luck with that!! Shortly before her fiftieth birthday, she joined the Peace Corps fulfilling a lifelong dream. She was sent to the Federated States of Micronesia where she worked with disadvantaged youth. The author has traveled and hiked through South America, Nepal and Thailand and now lives in Hawaii.
5 comments:
not a club i ever wanted to belong to
You are right; it is a club. Welcome to the Club!
There are frequent moments when you reach for the phone to tell your mother something exciting and new only to feel the deep sadness that you can't reach her that way anymore.
My mom died 27 years ago. Just today I thought about what I would give just to sit down and talk with her again...... these thoughts are always with me.
Hard to imagine it was that long ago. I remember sitting in my van in the parking lot of Lenox Square in Atlanta, recalling a time and place with Stroups and Greys and Parkers and Perezs....a sympathy card in hand for your family.
Your mom would be proud of all her girls.
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