Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Odd Unity

This morning, a friend emailed that his father passed away on December 8. He lost his mother fifteen months earlier, just three days before my mom died. He shared his father’s eulogy which brought tears to my heart.

Since Mom died, two close friends have lost their mothers. Each time my heart tore open a little more, yet in a way, it healed a bit more too. There has been a closer identification with those who have experienced this loss. While I have known others to lose their mothers before I lost my own, I have only been able to acknowledge their loss, never capable of comprehending the emptiness.

Now I truly identify with the grief that seeps into the soul. It never leaves. It isn’t debilitating, but it can be a heavy load that keeps each future second in perspective.

In some odd way, I created my own private club, comprised of those who lost their mothers since I lost mine. Maybe I belong to the clubs of those who lost their mothers before me, gaining membership after I lost Mom.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

not a club i ever wanted to belong to

Anonymous said...

You are right; it is a club. Welcome to the Club!

Anonymous said...

There are frequent moments when you reach for the phone to tell your mother something exciting and new only to feel the deep sadness that you can't reach her that way anymore.

Anonymous said...

My mom died 27 years ago. Just today I thought about what I would give just to sit down and talk with her again...... these thoughts are always with me.

Valerie Perez said...

Hard to imagine it was that long ago. I remember sitting in my van in the parking lot of Lenox Square in Atlanta, recalling a time and place with Stroups and Greys and Parkers and Perezs....a sympathy card in hand for your family.

Your mom would be proud of all her girls.