Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Pay up, Chump!

Between early morning runs, mid-afternoon swims under a hazy Kona sun and sitting surfside with a sweatshirt on to watch the sunset fizzle out, I’ve been working a plan. I’ve developed this plan of attack after receiving the wonderful news about my 2008 tax liability.

Yeah, it was expected. Yeah, I knew I owed it. No surprises there. What hit me the hardest was that for the greater part of six months I’ve kept my head buried under my goose down pillow. Each month I ignored those monthly statements concerning my investment portfolio. I had been too chicken to look. Knowing the value crashed is one thing. Seeing it on the bottom line is another matter.

With April 15 lurking around the corner, I could no longer avoid looking, because I had to figure out where I was going to get $51000. No typo there my friends. Couple the loss with the amount I owe I wallowed in self -mposed poverty (in theory) during the last week. Add the recent stories of Tom Daschle and Tim Geithner and I cried to the IRS gods, “Why, why, why, does this have to come out of my pockets?”

“‘Cause, ‘cause, ‘cause. You putz.”

Thus the formulation of a plan. Got to have a plan to move forward. Referring back to my March 26th blog on my budget I have been working a plan. Let's review:

  1. Write that damn book and sell it. The writing I can do. The selling, not so much.
  2. Get a real job. A dreadful thought.
  3. Get serious about doing some financial counseling. Under consideration.
  4. Not pay my taxes. Now that could be stimulating!


1. Frustration has spilled out words. One will later determine if they have been worthy of print. I’ve sculptured a solid section to my guidebook. For the first time since I got the crazy idea to write a book about how to go back to church I can a finished product. Part of this new found inspiration came from a journal entry I made over a year ago. I asked, if I don’t believe I could write a book, than who will? So I started thinking, "I can write a book" instead of "I think I can write a book." The shift became positive. Marketable remains a question. Shit. But if I don’t put the words down, there is noting to sell.

2. Get a real job. Still a very dreadful thought, but I considered why it might not be such a bad idea. Health care, cat food and a new car sit in the positive column. On the negative side there are the need for new clothes, living some place else and two weeks of vacation. Sickening.

Forget looking at the nest egg! The nest has been ripped from the branches leaving me clutching a thin twig and staring down at a hard landing. Hard landing unless I do something proactive before I lose my grip. So I have brushed up the resume and found a couple jobs of interest on line. And for kicks I filled out an application with the IRS. Kind of a "can’t beat’em, join’em" mentality.

Meanwhile, my uncle hooked me up with the Census Bureau to be a census taker at $17.00 per hour. I did this in 2000. Not a real job mind you. I was a little late in getting in line, but yesterday I got a call asking if I was still interested. A training class is scheduled on April 15th. (God I hate that day.)

The rep told me the training would take place in Salt Lake.

"You mean, Utah? It's a nice job, but not that nice."

"Oh, no. There is a Salt Lake on Oahu," he explained.

"Interesting. That’s closer, but I’m on the Big Island."

Ah, the draw backs to living in Hawaii. All that water! It’s not like you jump in your car (which I don’t have anyway) and drive someplace. With the Super Ferry now defunct because of a crazy State Supreme Court ruling which put several hundred people out of work last month, the only option of travel between islands is to fly. Cha-ching. (About a week ago some nut tried to swim from the Big Island to Maui. About eleven hours into a projected 30 hour swim, a cookie-cutter shark decided the guy looked worthy of a closer investigation. Took a chomp out of him.) Anyway...I digress. The logistics makes attending the class out of the question.

3. I have yet to get serious about making a go of financial counseling, but I continue to get phone calls or emails asking me how to get out of debt. I patiently dole out advice, get no money and eat up my Verizon minutes. Such a living.

4. Now I'm back to taxes. After making a couple calls to the IRS disguising my voice and telling them my name was Jennifer, and discussing the situation with my CPA, financial counselor, Dad and a company that helps those with tax issues I have concluded I have no tax issues. And still too many assets.

Pay up, chump!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Valerie Perez said...
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Julie in Alaska said...

The book sounds interesting...but how well does a good book pay the author? Will it make a dent in your problem? I guess if it were me (and oh, it easily could be), I would try to restructure my assets to lower my tax liability while also biting the bullet, getting a real job if possible these days for a defined period of time and thereby digging my way out of the hole before I found myself really not able to do that (not enough time or energy). But hey, I am no financial adviser. I know you will figure something out. The running of the financial ship over the rocks has us all wondering, "what the hell?" Too many years of scrimping and planning down the drain! I think if we want to fix our personal finances, we'll have to come at it with both barrels, you know? There's no elegant solution but just getting in there an duking it out. Depressing. I will watch to see how you decide to tackle it....good luck, Val!

Valerie Perez said...

Selling a book, even if were tomorrow would not solve the problem. Actually it adds...taxes to be paid next year. I'm so not motivated to earn money because it results in more taxes. This is how government kills us small business people. To think I once employed over 200 employees.

I got a summary of 2003 for kicks from my CPA. I haven't done any real worked since that time. That year, eight months after I joined the Peace Corps making $403/month, I had to cough up $46,000.

I was thoroughly prepared. Had the money stashed away and come April I paid up. Last year I took a beating in the market and believe me, I wasn't playing with the likes of Bernie Madoff. Its not the total reason I squealed. Bailouts and other gov't action left me cold.

I took my mental state, which was really the problem, to my Father, my Lord in prayer. Strange how that works. I asked for help in acceptance and moving forward. This morning the headlines on the West Hawaii Today paper "Moving Forward" Wow.

So longer depressed.

Julie in AK said...

Alright! I decided, as the worst of things piled up and I watched my plans and funds crumble, that I too would "turn it over to God" and I have to say, I am enjoying my life and worrying less these days. It's not all gone, but it's not occupying too much space...
and we'll be fine.