Returning Home

I found myself trying to make a plan, but turned for guidance from above. I know darn well Mom would have wanted me to stay the course. I also knew dad, although he would not say it, would want me to come home. The decision would not be totally left up to me. But I did need time to think and there is no better place to let go of conflicting emotion than on the coast where land, water and sky come together.

This morning brought the promised weather of yesterday. As a drove to Narranagsett the off shore wind grew stiff and carried to land a thickening sky. By noon I had sold one book, gave away two and had felt a decision to return home. It might have been the rain, but I think it was something I recalled a few years ago. I was in Chili on an North Carolina Outward Bound trip and a few days away from a glacier climb to the summit of Orsono. It was a culmination ascent. A young man was part of the crew of thirteen. He received word that his mother was being honored by the queen of Spain for her work in films for the disabled. The queen was flying his mom and her family to Spain for the ceremony and he had to make a decision – climb the mountain or go off to Spain to attend the ceremony. He was able to talk to his mom and he conferred with the trip leaders and spoke to some of the group who were closer to his age. Ultimately he made the decision to stay and climb the mountain. He never spoke with me but I would have told him to go be with his mother during the honor. The mountain will always be there.

“Valerie, the road will always be there. Go home.” I was yearning to be with my family. That need called me home. The decision to cancel my two book signings did not happen until after I sold a book to some guy from New York who pulled up to the corn stand in a hot red convertible Mercedes. Without a salutation, a inquiry about the corns freshness or a comment about the weather, he ordered two dozen ears of corn. As Frank, the Corn Man was bagging corn he walked over to my table, picked up my book and asked what it was about. Considering his no nonsense manner I matched it with a short description. It is about sailing. He said me to sign one. I commented he did not even ask me how much it cost, but I guess if you drive up to a corn stand in a hundred thousand dollar car, the price of the book is not an issue. I gave him change for his twenty, personalized the autograph to Ted - Fair Winds - Valerie 6.26.06. That is right—wrong date. When he got back to the car he gave the book to the woman who was with him and they zoomed off as she read the back cover. Now my best hope is that he was some publishing hot shot from New York City and he just discovered me!

I hated to walk into the Bank Square Book Store. They had displayed my book so it was impossible to get out the store without seeing it and the announcement that I was going to be there. And yesterday I saw the announcement in The Day’s upcoming events. Annie was very understanding and told me to take care of my family situation. We could do a signing later. I thanked her for the consideration and the opportunity that she had given me. It began to rain when I left the store.

By the time I got to the Seaport Campground it was pouring. A book had been displayed at the cash register in the office all week and there was a poster up announcing the event on Saturday. I gave the book to Jessica, who is an avid reader and set out for home.

Traffic down I-95 was as thick as this morning’s clouds, but it was moving. I knew I had at least a five hour drive ahead of me to Albany Medical Center where Mom was being treated in the Cardiac Care Unit. The heavy rain wasn’t helping traffic, but I felt comfortable on the highway in the slower speeds. I settled in for the long drive, pushing “what if” thoughts from my head.

I left the coast and returned to the mountains. The rain stopped, but a heavy fog floated in the lower lying valleys and river beds as I passed thought central Connecticut and the Berkshires of Massachusetts. It was almost 7 pm when I found a place to park just down from the hospital. Darryl, Jennifer’s husband, met me outside and took me through the maze of hallways and stairwells to the Cardiac Unit where dad and I fell into each other’s arms.